Saturday, April 13, 2013

When Anxiety & Depression Strikes

When people say life isn't easy and nobody's perfect, I find that to be true. Just because you observe that someone's life looks perfect, you never know what they could be truly hiding inside. I was watching a video from a guy named Chris Pirillo on YouTube. In it, his wife said some things about her going through and anxiety issue she had be going through for quite some time now but she had been hiding it and acting like nothing was wrong. Even her husband Chris didn't know until he watched the footage.

The way this relates to me is that I am currently going through the same thing. It's actually been about a year that this has been going on. You can partially tell by the series of posts where I talked about "The Non Believer","The Dreamer", and "The Maniac". All of those posts were created at peak periods when  I didn't even know what I was going to do next, and what to do with myself and my life.  For me, it got so bad that a girl I was seeing at the time split ways with me because I wasn't being myself and she didn't even know what was wrong because I never talk about it to anyone. It also got so bad that eventually, I myself had to call my doctor's office for an appointment because I felt suicidal. To be honest, it was even a reason why I left the girl I was dating when it started happening about 2-3 years ago. If I was never struck with this issue, I probably would still be with her. It's actually pretty hard to tell someone about it especially when you've done it before, and then been ignored and distanced from. In my previous post, I talked about a dream that has been recurring. Well, actually not recurring but more of a continuation. It's been about a month and a half, every other day. Sometimes I feel as if that dream is following the anxiety/depression period I've been going through.

But alas, again, I'm still going through this problem with myself. Sometimes it gets so bad, I can't even wake up in the morning and I stay in bed till about 1-2pm without eating or drinking. I even end up having dreams that relate to death, life, and my many insecurities. Some days when I have classes, I feel like I can't be there or I skip it all together.

Point being, if you are going through the same thing or a similar issue, know that you are definitely not alone. As you can see, there are atleast 2 other people going through the same thing. Me and Chris Pirillo's wife. So if you are going through this, feel free to leave a comment below talking about yourself and your story. This can be used as a community posting for people alike to discuss their troubles without feeling like they will be judged.

Just about all of this post is something nobody knows about me. Not my family. Not my friends,